But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist , to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous.
Don’t Shame Him
Know That This Is Normal
Whenever I masturbate I can ejaculate with no problems. I have not talked to her about this. Your notion of experimentation is good, as you need to find ways of bridging the gap between solo sex and partner sex — and to practise them until they become easy and habitual. You could try masturbating first, but if that is secretive, you may run the risk of establishing a style that is difficult to change. Rather, aim to incorporate self-pleasuring into your love-making sessions with your girlfriend as a preferred bridging method. Try masturbating to finish in her presence preferably after satisfying her.
My Girlfriend can't make me cum...
So not having an orgasm is obviously less fun than having an orgasm. If you cast your mind back over those people, were they the kind ones? Just as bad as the ones who go straight to sleep after sex are those who just assume you came. How a person behaves in bed is a microcosm of themselves. Someone who is thoughtful and considerate in bed is likely to be the same in real life. Watch out most of all for people who refuse to learn. Anyone who gets pissed off at the suggestion of a different technique is very bad news. Dump them. But if they use your clit like a game of Crystal Maze?
Probably the more you think about it, the less likely it is to happen. Could be her technique, too. Maybe you need moar lube. Also, she needs to get her head right about sex. Sounds like she has some hang-ups. From: swordinmyeye I don't understand how she's fine with hand stuff but not with intercourse. As a virgin myself perhaps I'm unqualified to determine this, but seems strange to me. Log In Sign Up. Keep me logged in on this device Forgot your username or password?