And I have a solution that I genuinely believe would be extremely beneficial to the buyer. First, the seller is going to respond to my objections with his carefully prepared counterpoints. Then, the sales guy will likely restructure the proposal in hopes of addressing some of my concerns. This plan has worked for me in the past. In the best cases, sellers genuinely care about the welfare of buyers and honestly believe that their proposed solutions will be a benefit. They still want their recommendation to be accepted.
Reframe the rope
Mindful Musings by Jennifer Grace
Amid the conflicts and tensions that arise in congregations, we have more than enough opportunities to act on impulse. Dropping the rope is an excellent temporary strategy. It helps create some distance between the heat of a tense situation and ourselves. Lowering the temperature in ourselves or in the situation that we are engaged in might be just the thing that is needed—temporarily. The problem comes when dropping the rope becomes an escape route rather than a path to creative engagement or responsiveness. With our emotional system cooled down, the temporary relief is satisfying. But running away from tension can be just another automatic impulse. When he did a series of seminars in the Boston area, I sat in the front row as a devotee, grateful for how he integrated two of my worlds: psychotherapy and congregational life.
Call Number 1: I’m going to be the seller.
We grew up in the same area, and what struck me most about this friend is that he had never been in a fight. Growing up anywhere around New York City, having avoided physical altercation entirely is a rare accomplishment. This friend became one of my first experiences of encountering a different way of being in the world. An example of a possible alternate pathway than the aggressive ones chosen by so many people I knew.
The art of staying neutral and dropping the rope has become my spiritual practice. How transformed am I? The question I get to discover when I find myself in dead stop traffic, or if my stock investment just plummeted, or when my computer crashes… and I lose everything on my hard drive.