A British teen decided to yank a fire alarm at a rave, pulling off most of his pinkie in the process. The teen didn't rush to the hospital, though—he kept dancing. This made no sense, but making no sense is very on brand for Clinton, whose gay lovin' , liberal husband supported DOMA and Don't Ask, Don't Tell , deregulated Wall Street , and allowed Arkansas to execute a mentally challenged man. Keep reppin' the family brand, Hill! Proving mommy bloggers are the biggest sociopaths on earth after poets and theater kids, a mommy blogger poisoned her son with salt. This news pissed off tech bloggers, who make pennies while tech geeks make millions creating new ways to say hi to their friends. This week, Dick Cheney decided to open his mouth and blame the mess on Obama , even though ruining countries is what Cheney does best. Nice burn, Assange!
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